AN INTERVIEW FOR PERMANENT RESIDENCY:
MR: “How do you feel about the four food groups?”
RB: “Couldn’t be bothered.”
ST: “Do you find women who discuss the dramatic splendor of being a woman, depressing?”
RB: “Yes.”
EG: “How about women who talk about their Lovers?”
RB: “Exponentially so.”
PK: “What of creatives who exhibit superficial activation positioned as the thin-skinned brand of Fragility/Complexity/Confliction?”
RB: “SKIN CRUMBLING.”
AH: “Tell me about money. Â Do you want alot of it?”
RB: “I want enough to keep my scissors sharp, my belly full, my wardrobe steaming, and my parallelograms on point.”
TR: “Lastly, big-city Spiritualistas?”
RB: “CURRENCY-BASED CRYSTAL HEALING/WHITE GURUS/SALAD RECIPES FOR LEANER THIGHS”
TR: “And would you contribute to our community’s utilitarian discussion of cultural circulation, were you to keep this P.O. Box for eternity?”
RB: “It would be one of my three cardinal motives for perpetual motion, probably in first place and occasionally in second.”
SS: ” Who told you you could wear the same pair of shorts every day for 49 days?”
RB: ” Â Â Â .”
RH: “Will you consider teaching a class on the art of heat-based hermitude?”
RB: “It is a deep, dark passion of mine and would therefore be an honor of the most ultimate kind.”
AS: “May we expect a bi-monthly dinner party based on the color coding of food and plates, from you?”
RB: “I will learn how to manipulate food, yes. Â I will need some time and perhaps a place-setting budget.”
TT: “For every gemstone you take home from the desert will you bury a pile of haircut, under a prickle-pear?”
RB: “My golden spade was wrought for this very purpose, from the metalsmith in Valentine.”
RC: “Ok, well then, it seems you have passed the test with a score of 83% and are therefore eligible to enlist for permanent residency on the Isle of Misfits.”
RB: “I WILL WAKE UP AND FALL ASLEEP WITH GRATITUDE DRIFTING FROM MY LIPS. (Thank you very much).”
