06/14/2017 Baby Rabbits

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I see my strangled tiny blonde heathen in you and I want to sit next to it and look at it in the face

I want to drink too much and be bad and start fires and throw heavy things against fragile things

When I was little I used to scare people and get yelled at a lot because I threw fire at them like a small warlord

I would get in trouble frequently for tickling my siblings too hard

Which was fair

D Barrymore ambition

Eventually I stopped throwing fire and became very sweet to my public

Only sang Mariah in my bedroom after I wedged the door tight with a chair and even then I was only lip-synching

And started arranging objects into right angles and washing my hands a lot to keep everything from falling open

Honor roll

Ballet

Calorie counting

Etc.

You don’t care about anything

But you care about everything

You don’t love anything

But you love everything

You want tender

I do too

Most men I meet want to trap my heathen and put it in a cage, then they grow bored of me

I always say yes because I know how to be in a cage for someone

But if I think I really love them I will test them by throwing some fire

And they either put their hands around my neck or they G  H  O  S  T, both vines stemming from fright

I don’t want to say yes anymore I want to kill every man who ever hurt me

I also want to thank them

But I want to punch them in the face while I am thanking them

You catch the fire I throw at you and throw your own fire back at me

And I am not afraid of you

And you never make me feel ashamed of my language

Because you are not afraid of me

You look at me proudly when I throw fire

And know how to tell me when I’m being an asshole

You rarely move and seem sleepy like a sloth, if sloths lived in the desert

But

You punch people in the face when they do bad things to people who are weaker than them

You don’t move until you feel righteous advocacy light pouring through your head

And then you move swiftly and with fire coming out of your eyes

But then you help the person up off the ground

And you save baby rabbits

I wish you weren’t lazy

But you speak Spanish with your Mexican grandmothers

And that absolves you of most insufficiencies

Love,

Ryann